on making friends (as an adult)

making friends is hard, keeping them, also. I wrote a piece for clementine daily about the effort it takes to make friends in this stage of my life. summary: not easy, definitely worth it.

every day I miss my good, true, close friends. growing up and getting older has many advantages, however (for me) one of them that has not been afforded is the luxury of living near any of my bests, so life has forced me to widen my circle. but I’ve found a few really good ones lately and for that I am grateful.

admittedly it was hard to pen the open and vulnerable state I have been in as of late, but if my words help any one person summon the courage to find a friend, well, let’s call it worth it.

I am so very thankful for all of my people, scattered across the states and world (hi kobe and sam!) and for what they add to my life.

so this is dedicated to all of my people, near and far. xox

//

“It’s been quite the almost-three-year journey creating a new life, building community and making friends after our geographical reboot. But it’s taught me much about growing into my own skin and throwing myself into the front lines. It almost became a reinvention of sorts; old friends just know—they’ve lived your history alongside you. They are most certainly the ties that bind you to, well, you. And new friends have to be told—who you are, what you’ve been through and what you stand for.

I think there’s a difference in these tales of friendships and obvious advantages to each. But I’ve learned the true beauty of friendship mirrors your current stage of life: who you are today, right this very second, reflects itself in those you call your people. Those you fought hard to find, to make and to keep. So in my truest Oprah-ism, this is what I know for sure: friends are worth every effort.”

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lately // inspired

for me, creativity ebbs and flows. it’s a rhythm, almost, and knowing when to capitalize when it’s high has been a learning process. but as I’ve found myself more and more immersed in the creative space writing and editing, I am more intentional on searching out that bit of inspiration that sparks creativity.

so, a bit inspiring me lately:

listening // jess lively’s podcast: the lively show
I’m late to the podcast game, but am loving listening to inspiring women who hustle, who chase their dreams, and who have important life lessons to share.

reading // everything on balance
better than before: mastering the habits of our everyday lives by gretchen rubin
overwhelmed: how to work, love, and play when no one has the time by brigid schulte

attending // create + cultivate
a creative conference for female entrepreneurs in the digital space. (I interviewed the founder for a career feature here!) excited for some serious career inspiration and to catch up with The Everygirl team.

trying // up at dawn
I’m out of bed at least an hour before the two kiddos lately, which has been a game changer. working in the pre-dawn hours is (dare I say) refreshing. starting the day off with a clear headspace is everything.

coveting // as always, zara
because fall is right around the corner. (what?!)

believing // dreams don’t work unless you do.

dreams

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conversations

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a few conversations I wrote about here (at The Everygirl) and here (at Clementine Daily).

have a happy weekend, and start a few conversations of your own. xox

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headed south

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florida sunsets or bust.

leaving today for 10 days to soak up the sun, enjoy family, and relax.

sounds about right.

christmas sail 2014

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kind words

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it was one of those days yesterday. you know, christmas jams at target days. that was the best I had, so there it was. and then as I checked out, two kids in tow, screaming for patience inside my own head, I rushed us into the closing elevator doors. the woman inside was the same who had been in line directly in front of me.

she turned and said, “it was so sweet of you to speak to your children so kindly when you were checking out. it was so wonderful to hear because usually it’s yelling and pleading and frustrations. but thank you for having patience with your children.”

it was more than I could have ever asked for from a stranger. mother to mother, exactly what I needed to hear when I felt like I had been failing at this whole mothering thing. I am so grateful for her kind words. keep on keepin on, mamas. we got this.

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on technology

I think it’s safe to say we have a love/hate relationship with technology these days. time suck! energy waster! general distractor from the important things! (and by technology I mostly mean our iphones.) how much is too much device time!

but then. last week my best friend face-timed us from california so I could see her sweet infant boy and his cheeks. (oh those baby cheeks! I wanted to leap through the screen and squeeze them!) and we spent the next 45 minutes or so chatting and eating and drinking coffee and walking through our respective houses discussing new couches (mine) and kitchen renos (hers). and in that moment I was so very thankful that we live in a day and age that I can see her and her baby instantly, at any time. because ideally we’d live down the street from each other….but you know, it’s good to have goals.

I do know that without our many devices my children wouldn’t have such a close relationship with my family in florida. distance does a number on the heart, but somehow these little screens help fill the void. my brother and I chatted face-to-face over lunch the other day and just seeing him via iphone felt (close) to what it would be like if he could just drop by.

suffice to say, I still elbow nudge my husband about a million times a night to put the phone down! in front of the kids! what example are we setting! I don’t care if it’s work! (and i’m just as guilty, believe me.)

but I think what is most important is what doesn’t become lost in translation. I might be checking the weather to asses what outerwear needs to be tracked down in order to leave the house, but my son doesn’t know that. all he sees is my eyes on a screen. again. so explain. make him part of the snow-watch checking process.

setting limits is important, keeping dialogue open and ongoing about our technology is important. I don’t ever want my children to think what is going on in the internet world is more important than his world. it’s a daily struggle, to be sure, but one that takes diligent monitoring. right? this much I do know: screen time can be valuable time. but with limits, and understanding.

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life lately // on the plus side

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so many times I think to myself: what are we doing in michigan? and then: what would we be right right now if we were still living in chicago?

mostly it’s all imaginary anyways, because really who knows? chicago isn’t the same city it was when we left two years ago, and we aren’t the same family.

but I do know we wouldn’t be skiing every weekend had we stayed in the city. plus one for michigan!

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remember

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have a happy weekend!

xox

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